Model Citizenship

So, I have three quick incidents to report to keep the “Land of Entitlement” trophy deeply seeded within the “O.C.”:

The Lexus Lady and Her Horn

During a recent walk to Fat Burger with a few colleagues from work, we were treated to yet another display of “my time is more important than yours.” There is a particularly dicey crosswalk at the intersection of Jamboree and Michelson in Irvine. Crossing the main part of Michelson is protected by a standard cross walk and light. The dicey part is the last small island that frames the right-turn lane to Jamboree - it has no light to regulate the turning traffic… As we crossed Michelson and arrived at the right-turn island, we noticed an approaching van slow to a stop to allow us to cross - while in itself not an act of model citizenship (there is a crosswalk there), it was much appreciated. As we got to the middle of the crosswalk, we were suddenly startled by a sharp blast of a horn. Apparently, a lady in a Lexus (and I use lady lightly), determined that the van stopped in front of her was holding her up - despite 4 people crossing in front of it….

The Bummer in the Hummer

I will first admit that I do not drive the smallest of vehicles - a Dodge 2500 truck. I do, however pay special attention to how I drive it. For instance, I make sure I leave room for others to park, pass, etc. I DO NOT drive it like I am ENTITLED to whatever road-space I want. With this in mind - let us take a short journey to the front of Fred’s in Laguna Niguel. There is a one-way lane in front of the restaurant to allow traffic leaving the parking lot to exit easily (note the use of “lane”). After backing out of our parking space, I turned left and proceeded to turn to the exit lane. What do you think we found? A Hummer heading the wrong direction in an effort to take the spot I just left behind. Of course there is hardly enough room for one car let alone a Hummer and Dodge truck. As I round the corner, this GM genius drives CLOSER to me - making it nearly impossible for me to get around him. (All because he was ENTITLED to the parking space, right?). As I inched my way around him, I happily pointed out that he was going the wrong direction on a one-way lane. Of course, he didn’t even acknowledge….Truly a display of Not-So-Model Citizenship!

And the final story….  Read the rest of this entry »

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Model-Log; January 15, 2008:

So the new year is well underway - and with it, the hundreds of wishful resolutions destined for obscurity…Now, far be it for me to dash the hopes of the would be “resolutionist” - but some personal promises just have no chance…

Now that the teaser is before you, humor me and answer a quick question: Where do New Year’s resolutions go to die? If you answered the refrigerator, you are almost correct. If you answered the gym, light up a cigar, sit in your favorite chair and relish in your correctness!

January is by far the worst month to go to the gym - Thousands of people somehow convince themselves that this year will be different - they are finally going to get into shape. Unfortunately, amidst their unbridled enthusiasm, they neglect to read-in on a few basic ground rules for gym attendance. Now, I am by no means any type of gym monger, but I do believe there are a few guidelines one should persevere to follow:

1. Choose activities within your means
   • Don’t attempt the 300 lb bench press when you’re only good for a buck twenty-five
   • Don’t use the pool if you can’t swim - you get the picture
2. Choose the proper attire - enough said
3. Leave the cell phone in the car
4. Bring a towel - and use it when you finish with a piece of equipment.

These are a few of the important ones, be that as it may - I have another that should be expanded on… Read the rest of this entry »

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I am not usually one to delve into conspiracy theories especially without solid proof. However, I have a theory that could be likened to the one that would suggest smoking addiction was a product born of secretive big-tabacco board room meetings.

During the 1990’s the real estate market in So-Cal lost nearly 40% (inflation adjusted) over a 7-year stretch. This slow crash was seen by many as a stark warning not to discount the importance of asset diversification - Still, as my theory begins, there were some who saw this slump as a glaring opportunity.

So - what is it that typically brings prices down in a free market (econ 101 here) - that’s right, lack of demand. Now I realize that there are often many things that can influence demand, but simply put; when nobody is buying, prices are falling. In the mid-90’s housing prices in some California areas fell so hard, that many people just up and walked away - accepting bankruptcy over the continued decline in their investment (Remember, many of these were “A-paper” borrowers). Stuck with properties with auction values less than 50% of their original purchase price, lenders were getting hammered in this exodus.

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I am going to tell this story in “real-time” for entertainment (likely more mine than yours). 

I am traveling south on the 73 toll road in the slow lane, doing about 65 mph and  approaching an onramp. There is a wall of cars blocking the path of any would-be merger. As that very thought crosses my mind, I see a car round the corner of the on-ramp and start its final run….In an effort to avoid the inevitable break-check that is about to occur (many Southern Californian drivers have extreme issues with merging), I put my signal on, check for traffic, and move to the next lane over.

In the next lane, I notice that the line of cars in the slow lane is longer than I anticipated. Realizing that the merging car will cause many of these cars to spill over into the lane I was now in, I put my signal on, check for traffic, and begin to merge into the next lane…

Here’s where things get interesting…as I start my merge, I notice a silver SUV at least 200 yards behind me coming up a little fast, but with plenty of room to move into the next lane over (completely free of traffic). Well evidently, my turn signal is causing quite an issue for this malicious Mercedes because like a moth to a flame, it tracks right up on my back bumper.

Wait…what’s this? flashing headlights? Oh, how original - I guess if we were in Germany, outside of Stuttgart, those flashing headlights might evoke a reaction. So now she makes an abrupt lane change to the left (with no signal, mind you) and stomps the gas. I think I hear the distinct whine of the entry-level M-”No”Class horn! What an honor…why to have such a noble car honk in my honor after a hard day’s work truly inspires me! Hey - this is no ordinary sound of the horn this is a symphony of delightful notes clearly meant for only the finest of European opera houses…The No-Class is beside me now, and I am being treated to what can only be explained as a convulsive display of dance. It’s humorous actually, I want to laugh, but I dare not make light of this extremely important person’s plight..for any delay in their trip home may result in a 30-second delay in their trip to Baja Fresh (beacause they are, no doubt, a connoisseur of the finest dining - the owners of an M-Class and all). Read the rest of this entry »

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