We All Just Need Someone To Talk To
WARNING:Â This Post Containes Hints of Male Sensitivity - Reader Discretion AdvisedÂ
Recently, our Chili the Cat developed some fairly serious issues. It is probably safe to assume he was within a day or so of certain demise. Cats are funny creatures that way. They tend to hide their ailments until it is nearly too late to help. You have to pay close attention to the few signs they do show. Humans, on the other hand, love to share. If they are happy, they show it…If they are mad, they show and if they are sad, they show it.
Case in point: my girlfriend’s emotions related to the forementioned misfortunes of our cat. After a week of taking him in to different veterinarians including a 12:00 - 3:30 AM Labor Day visit to the animal urgent care clinic, the girlfriend was in an emotional spiral. The next day, Chili seemed to be on his last leg - we decided to take him to another clinic.
After dropping him off at the clinic, my girlfriend stopped for coffee at a near-by Starbucks. Very shaken by the whole ordeal, she no doubt struggled to keep her emotions in check as she stood in line. When she arrived at the counter, she finally let go into tears.
So, here we have the picture painted; two total strangers meeting for the first time under fairly neutral circumstances. One of these strangers is openly upset. The other? As the first tears rolled and the bottom lip quivered, the barista sprung into action and attempted to provide support…
Seriously? A woman shows up to the counter crying and you ask if she wants water? Now, I realize Starbucks probably doesn’t provide their new associates with much crisis training (other than how to triage a broken steamer) but you would hope simple genuine human concern would trump the canned corporate response.
Why is it when humans see an animal (bird, cat, dog, squirrel, moose, etc.) in even minor distress we spring into action? You know what I am talking about - picking up a stray, helping an injured bird, feeding a hungry dog - all the while asking, “how did this happen, who did this to you, or does that feel better?” Yet, when it comes to helping a fellow human in obvious emotional distress, the best we can muster is, “Do you want some water?”
It is as if the barista was afraid the same misfortune would befall her if she openly discussed it. Even an “Is everything OK” would have given me nothing to write about…
I stronly believe that this offer had to of made the barista even more uncomfortable once she realized how out of touch her offer for “help” really was. Unfortunately, this was a very bad display of compassion and definitely not Model Citizenship.
 Oh - v. psychopathicat is making a pretty good recovery - even attacked me this evening when he no doubt felt I wasn’t paying enough attention to him…If it wasn’t for the big funnel collar on his head, he probably would have gotten the best of me….I sure am glad he didn’t - I probably would have been offered an extra napkin when I dragged my bleeding limbs in to get my morning coffee.
YeOldeWestern said,
Wrote on September 23, 2008 @ 7:08 am
I’m sorry your cat was sick and it’s good that he’s now ok. But as far as the barista, she’s probably overworked and tired and it’s not her job to be a grief counselor, it’s to make beverages. “Is everything ok” is just a rhetorical question to which there is no proper response, so “do you want some water?” is probably what I would have said too.
The reason we help animals when they are in need is that there is something concrete we can do to actually provide help (such as take them to the vet), where as people who are crying usually aren’t in need of medical attention, but instead want to spill out all their troubles (hence the title of your post “We all just need someone to talk to”). This is something I would only want to help out with if the person was a close friend. There’s no time to have a conversation with everyone in line, I just need to keep things moving (that’s how it’s like at the Starbucks in my neighborhood anyway).
Fred with beans said,
Wrote on December 17, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
I’m not really getting your criticism of the barista. There is a line of people, so I assume the line continued beyond your g.f. What was the barista supposed to do? Walk around the counter with a complimentary cup of joe and sit down with the g.f. for an hour long session? I think I agree with the old westerner. I would have offered the same.
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Wrote on April 20, 2009 @ 7:29 am
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