Model Citizenship

The Stop Sign Intersection in California is a rich source of poor model citizenship; So much so that I have decided to call out the multiple examples of bad behavior that I witness there. Basically, I just can’t take it anymore, so I have decided to make the ‘California Stop Sign’ the theme for today’s curmudgeonly rant. Readers: I call out 5 examples of non-model citizenship. What have I missed?

EXAMPLE 1 – WHO’S ON FIRST (AND WHO GOES FIRST)?
I am a reasonably intelligent guy. I know a little about a lot of things. Some things I get, some things (like quantum mechanics or string theory) I don’t. One thing that is abundantly clear to me is Stop Signs. It comes down to 3 very simple rules, really:

A) The person who stops first goes first
B) If two vehicles stop at the same time, the vehicle on the right goes first
C) Pedestrians change the rules…they have the right of way over all vehicles

What is so difficult about this formula for people? There are multiple violations here. First, you have the outright jerks that stop second but feel entitled to enter the intersection first. You can spot these weasels by their fine-tuned straight-ahead look and masterful eye-contact avoidance techniques. Next, in the “stop at the same time” category, you have the drivers on the left going first. What is wrong with these people? In either case, we don’t have model citizens. We have some selfish behavior out there.

EXAMPLE 2 – NO, YOU GO…REALLY
I would argue that stop signs make people very uncomfortable as they approach them. As their vehicle comes to a stop sign, I believe most people say a quick prayer…begging that no other vehicle or pedestrian is at the intersection. (magnify this by a factor of 10 if a light is out at an intersection, by the way). If the prayer is not answered and another vehicle stops at the same time, logic is thrown out of the car window. See my simple rules in example 1 above? Well, they’re not followed. Instead, the cars stop, and thus begin a protracted and agonizing impasse. No, you go. No, thanks, you. No, you, really. No, No, No, I insist. People…go back to the rules above. You’re killing me.

Last week, a lady arrived at an intersection a few seconds before me (apparently, her prayer was not answered). Instead of following the simple rules and proceeding, she aggravatingly waved me through. I went, but she unnecessarily complicated a simple process. A model citizen follows the rules.

EXAMPLE 3 – THE RUN OVER PEDESTRIAN

Have you ever been in a cross walk, and you can feel the wind on your back from the car that just passed 18 inches behind you because they couldn’t wait another 2 seconds to give you some safe distance? If model citizenship is treating others the way we would like to be treated, then readers: these are not model citizens. Indeed, these are also unsafe non-model citizens. Can you imagine a 3-ft tall 3-year old in that situation? They could reverse course in the cross walk and be killed.

EXAMPLE 4 – THE CALIFORNIA STOP

The aptly named “California Stop” was born here. For those of you not familiar with this term, a quick review may be in order. It is alternatively known as “The Rolling Stop”. As a driver approaches a stop-sign intersection, the ‘California Stopper’ does not entirely break inertia and come to a complete stop (complete here being defined as the vehicle and occupant’s momentum reversing course…and well, stopping). The California Stopper rolls through the intersection at up to a few miles per hour. Other cars be damned. Pedestrians? Oh, sorry about that.

Is it any coincidence that the region of the country, Southern California (known for shallow, not-too-intelligent, narcissistic fakers) also has an unflattering stop sign named after it? We at Model Citizenship think not.

EXAMPLE 5 – PULL OVER (THE CITY NEEDS REVENUE)

If you live in Irvine, CA, then you know this is the Stop Sign ticket center of the World. I believe the city of Irvine is supported 15% by property taxes, 20% by sales taxes, and 65% on California Stop violations (legal disclaimer…this is a literary technique known as hyperbole. These numbers should not be considered real).

I’ve never received a stop sign ticket, because I know the little scam they run here in Irvine. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you run a stop sign blatantly, then you are unsafe and deserve a ticket. If you are a police officer hiding in the shade of a tree, waiting to pounce on people whose wheels don’t stop for 3 seconds, then I don’t think that’s public safety. That’s pure revenue generation. I know, I know…technically, these people are breaking the law (so save the hate mail)….but so are people who go 67mph on the freeway also breaking the law.

Bottom line, canvas the neighborhood for the unsafe stop sign violators, but do it for safety, not revenue generation. If cops make a distinction on speed (5 mph over the limit is OK, but 15 mph over is not), then they should make a distinction on the full and complete stop. Don’t you think? Regardless if you agree or disagree, be forewarned: If you come to Irvine, CA (and other cities in Orange County, CA), as much as it pains you to do so, make a complete stop. It will save you a $300 ticket, and it will make the cops mad.

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